#runnerproblems

by Fiona on March 29, 2014 · 7 comments

Some days—running is easy. And others—it’s not.

And not because my legs are heavy

And not because I can’t breathe.

But because of stupid, trivial details that compel me to slap the “stop” button and hastily exit the gym, crediting myself for a good effort. I donned the clothes. I scanned the card. “A” for effort, right?

The following is a list of obstacles that try to thwart my run—but to no avail.

cousinit.png-No hair tie and headband. I’d love to look like Megan Fox with long, luscious locks bouncing around me as I frolicked on the treadmill, but the reality is I look like a sweaty Cousin It.

-I forgot to pack a sports bra in my gym bag. Oh, let’s be honest; I don’t need one anyway.

- The industrial-strength fan whips my bangs across my face. The crisply-cut ends threaten to piece my eyeballs, and I worry my neighbor is counting how many times I fruitlessly tuck them behind my ears.

-My socks sneak down into my sneakers, causing my heel to blister. Now I need a Band Aid.

-My new ear buds make a “whoosh, whoosh, whoosh” sound with each step so that it sounds like I’m running underwater.

-I have to go to the bathroom.

-I forgot my phone to listen to music.

-There is nothing entertaining on the eleven televisions stretched in front of the treadmills, and I can’t read the size eight font of the subtitles.

-I never pick the right iHeart Radio station, and when I do, it’s difficult to dawsonuglycry.pngmaintain an upbeat pace to vapid commercials or the heart-wrenching, ugly-cry inducing “Say Something” by A Great Big World.

-At 8 p.m. on a Friday night, or in other words, in a nearly-empty gym with nineteen vacant treadmills, someone has to run right next to me. Give. Me. My. Space.

-Of all the empty treadmills in all the gyms of the all world, a student has to come run next to mine. (#teacherproblems)

-My pants keep falling down, and I fear my neighbor is also counting how many times I’ve pulled them up. (Although experiencing the waist-wittling effects of running are inspiring enough to keep running!)

-My sneakers keep coming untied despite my futile attempts at a triple knot. (I flashback back to pre-k when I was the last one in my class to make the switch from Velcro to laced-up shoes).
water.png- I gulp a sprig of mint out of my fruit-infused water and am forced to ingest it since I’m flanked by people on both sides. Spitting out water is probably frowned upon in this establishment.

- I hit “stop” instead of “pause” when the latter occurs. Workout stats lost. Cue the sound of a dying Pac-Man.

-I bend down prematurely to tie aforementioned laces and almost fall off the back of the treadmill in slow motion. Kinda’ like this.

What are the annoying occurrences that try to ruin your run?

No matter what they are, the lesson is, despite them all, hike up your pants, tie your shoes again, and keep running!

Fiona Paterna is an 8th grade Language Arts teacher and MEAN GUY runner. Check out her blog, The Writing Emergency Room.
 
Photo/ Video Credits:
Water: www.timwit.wordpress.com
Cousin It: www.motherhoodismycardio.com
Pac-Man: http://www.cleanvideosearch.com/media/action/yt/watch?v=wT-8Dm1VThc
Treadmill fails: http://www.cleanvideosearch.com/media/action/yt/watch?videoId=bEV-0AGGLEw
Dawson’s Creek: www.popculturemonster.com

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